Just keep going, never look back. Accept your decisions and have no regrets. Looking behind will just cause pain and stress. Its for the best anyways. All of us have a past that we can’t control. What’s done is done. The only thing you can do is change the future so there is something to look forward to. We only look behind us is when we want to learn from our mistakes and prevent that from happening again.
I just hate it when things don’t according to plan, everything is organized and is supposed to happen but there are just so many interferences. Not only does it bothers me, but it also hurts those that are involved. And I just feel really bad because I was the only who planned everything but so much things just had to happen. I thought today was going to be a good day, but I guess its not. Even though my horoscope told me when I wake up, I’m going to be positive and energetic. Well I was, until all these annoyances just started to occur. Whatever. I just don’t care anymore. I just want those involved to be okay.
You’re just stuck in my head. I can’t help it. Everything about you is just beyond my mind. Its as if someone took a picture of you and glued it into my mind. I want to get rid of that image but no matter how hard I try it stays there. You’re a disease and I’m the one infected by you. The only cure is yourself. If you were a song, I would put you on repeat. You’re the rain that keeps my drought thoughts living. If I’m asked to think of one person I have in mind, its going to be you. Just the thought of you makes me smile. When I look at you, these feelings come. You’re just stuck…
There has been a lot of things that have been going on in my life lately. My grandfather passed away, I’m still currently jobless, I have a bunch of college tests soon, and I’m the only one being responsible in a 5 people group project. I don’t know what to do. Everything is just all piled up together and I don’t know how to fix it. Its just overloading.
I feel like everyone is moving ahead in there lives. Its not a bad thing, its just that I need to start catching up to them. I do everything I can to catch up with their momentum but its still no good. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I extend my hand out waiting for someone to grab it and pull me away, but it stays there unattended. They say patience is key, but I don’t know how much longer I can wait.
Why do I have to be so emotionally sensitive? To have any conflict with someone important to me, I can’t stop thinking about it. My mind wanders. I run, searching for solutions. But as I keep wandering, the easier for me to get lost. And in the end, I can’t think of anything. I can only think blaming myself for my own actions. The best choice is to not think about it but its so hard not too. I want to do something, but my actions will only cause more pain. So I sit there waiting. Time will slowly heal the wounds, but if those wounds end up being scars, they’ll be forever remembered.
That’s what I wish for everyone that is important to me. Its as if my purpose was to bring happiness to everyone. Just seeing a smile of happiness on their face because of what I did makes me content. I could be considered as “too nice” but that’s okay. I rather be expressing kindness over hatred anytime. There always that phrase “nice guys finish last” but, if that were to be true, at least I’ll be the first one they’ll think about when things are tough. I know it sounds selfish but I always want to be the one that they know they could count on. If I make their day and then my day is fulfilled as well. Just seeing a smile of happiness on their face because of what I did makes me content.
I don’t want to believe what the others have to say. You’re not that kind of person. It has to be a misunderstanding. Every action needs a reason. I don’t need to hear yours since I already know myself. You could almost say that I know you more than you know yourself. Every moment we spend with each other, I learned something new each time. Eventually, each little piece of acknowledgement you have given me forms a new type of bond called trust. This trust that is embodied within each other, it lets me see what others cannot. Perhaps its a little sanctuary where the both of us can find reassurance, guidance, and hope if we need it. However, it can all be severed almost instantaneously, something that takes time to build, and only seconds to break. I want to believe in you, and in return, I know you will do the same.
I was careless again. Why does this always happen to me, no matter how hard I try to prevent accidents from happening again, I’m always the victim. The feelings of guilt, sadness, and regret that I thought went away just come back. Out of all the people in the world to be picked, why does it have to be me again. I know what happened before was my fault. I don’t deny it, and I’m sorry. I will gladly take any punishment that needs to be given, but I do not want anyone else, especially the people I care for the most to be involved. I want them to be safe from my own personal actions. If someone needs to be blamed, that someone is me.
Drama, confusion, and turmoil, a few things that contribute to sentimental breakdowns. To be the only one or the selected few to hear these problems, I will do my best to tend to the person’s emotional wounds. I may not come up with the best solution in all cases, but I’m always willing to hear out the pain and frustration of what happened.
